SEX TIPS
Everything You Need to Know about Squirting Orgasms
There's not a lot of mystery surrounding ejaculation in people with penises-it usually happens at the same time as orgasm when semen (sperm and fluids from the prostate and other glands) comes out from the urethra. Most people with penises who have had an orgasm have ejaculated.
The same cannot be said of people with vulvas and vaginas. We know that some vulva havers leak a little or a lot of fluid around the time of orgasm but we're still a little fuzzy on the details. Research suggests that "female ejaculation" (we know not everyone with a vulva identifies as female, but it is called this) and squirting are not the same thing, that some women do both, and that some do neither.
While porn would have us believe that the ability to squirt is proof of sexual prowess and being able to make your partner squirt shows you are a great lover, the truth is that only a small portion of people with vaginas have ever experienced squirting and it does not mean that either you or your partner is good (or bad) in bed.
Here we explain what we do and don't know about squirting and ejaculation, offer some tips for those who want to try it, and remind everyone that no one type of orgasm is better than all the others.
What is Squirting?
For people with vulvas and vaginas, squirting happens when clear, watery fluid comes out of the urethra during or right before orgasm. Some people experience this every time they orgasm but for others it may only happen once in a while.
Squirting is often characterized by how much liquid comes out-some people report they soak the bed-but it's more about the type of fluid that comes out than about how wet the sheets are in the end.
Is Female Squirting the Same as Female Ejaculation?
No. Some people use the phrases interchangeably because both happen around the time of orgasm and involve liquid that is expelled from the urethra, but researchers now believe that squirting and female ejaculation are different.
Squirting usually involves more fluid than ejaculation but the real distinction is what comes out. The liquid that comes out when someone squirts is watery and clear while ejaculation involves a thicker, white substance (sometimes described as milky).
Researchers believe that ejaculate comes from the Skene's glands-small ducts in the vaginal wall that empty into the urethra. These glands are akin to prostate glands in people with penises.
Is Squirting Just Peeing?
Nope. Squirting is not just peeing but the fluid that comes out does come from the bladder and contains some of the same chemicals as urine. Researchers describe it as much more watered down than pee and it also may contain the milky fluid from the Skene's glands.
A study that observed people having orgasms in a lab proved that squirting is not just losing control of your bladder. Researchers asked participants to pee first and used ultrasound exams to confirm that their bladders were empty before they began masturbating or having sex with a partner. As they got closer to orgasm, their bladders filled up again and it was this liquid that came out during squirting.
That said, it is possible that some women pee-a little or a lot-when they have a really powerful orgasm and that's okay.
Do All Women Squirt?
No. It's hard to know how many women have squirted in their lives. There's not all that much research on the topic and what exists often focuses on ejaculation instead and researchers may not make a distinction between the two orgasmic phenomena.
One study found that about 60% of women had ejaculated at some point in their lives but the International Society for Sexual Medicine quotes the percentage of women who ejaculate at anywhere between 10 and 50.
The big-and as yet unanswered-question is whether everyone with a vagina could squirt if they learned how.
What Happens When You Squirt?
People who have had squirting orgasms say that before it happens there's a warming/flooding sensation between their thighs that feels similar to having to pee. The natural instinct would be to tense the muscles to stop yourself from peeing but that may also stop you from squirting.
What Are Some Tips for Squirting?
Most orgasms feel good whether you end up squirting during them or not, so please don't stress out if you've never experienced squirting or ejaculation. But, like everything else in sex, experimentation can be fun. If you're curious about squirting, here are some tips that might help:
Set yourself up for success: The biggest impediment to squirting is often the fear of peeing during sex. If you're giving squirting a chance, make sure to empty your bladder before sex and consider putting a towel down on the bed. This will give you peace of mind as you try to let go.
Get the G-spot Involved: Though the mechanisms for female ejaculation and squirting aren't entirely understood, many people think that orgasms involving the g-spot are the best bet for those interested. Remember, the g-spot is a spongy indent located on the front wall of the vagina that can be best reached by a finger (yours or your partner's) or a sex toy that is curved upwards toward the belly button.
Grab a Toy: There are so many sex toys on the market that have been specifically designed to hit the g-spot. You'll recognize them because the part that is meant to go inside the vagina will be curved. Insert it curved-side up and see what happens.
Pick a Position: If you're having penis-in-vagina sex, the positions most likely to end in ejaculation are those that have the best chance of hitting your g-spot. This includes reverse cowgirl (woman sitting on top facing away from her partner) and doggy style.
Don't Forget the Clitoris: For most people with vulvas, the clitoris -with its tons of nerve endings-plays an important role in every orgasm. Make sure it gets a lot of attention when you're attempting to squirt.
Let go: People who have squirted or ejaculated say the key is letting go of your pelvic muscles. As we said earlier, though, the sensation of being about to squirt may feel like being about to pee and the natural instinct is to tense up. Fight this urge and relax those muscles.
Can Guys Squirt?
Yes. Guys can squirt, but it's different. When guys squirt what comes out actually is urine. The theory is that a powerful orgasm causes strong contractions of the prostate and pelvic muscles which causes a guy to empty his bladder.
Squirting is Not the Only Good Orgasm
Squirting plays such a prominent role in porn that some people have come to believe that it's the king-umm, make that, queen-of orgasms-the one to aim for and the proof that you're good in bed. Porn actors have admitted they fake this and the rest of us should stop stressing out about it.
Some people think there are different kinds of orgasms-especially for those with vulvas/vaginas-based on how they feel or what stimulation brings them on. Others don't believe in the need to categorize or label. Every orgasm is different but most of them feel pretty terrific. Enjoy each one whether it ends in squirting or not.
Some of our favorite condoms to use to help your partner orgasm and even squirt include:
