SEX TIPS
How to Masturbate Better for Mind-Blowing Self-Pleasure
Sure, we love partnered sex. Sometimes, though, partnered sex is not an option. And even if it is, you still might prefer masturbating or relish the occasional opportunity to get yourself off.
Whether you have a penis or a vulva, sticking your hands down your pants can teach you a lot about what you like, and maybe even offer some other health benefits in the process. But learning how to masturbate is a process. Try these masturbation tips and techniques on how to jerk off so you can ramp up the pleasure when you touch yourself.
WHAT IS MASTURBATION?
Masturbation is the act of touching your genitals (or other erogenous areas) for sexual pleasure, stimulation, and (possibly) orgasm. Whether you identify as male, female, or non-binary, anyone can engage in solo masturbation.
But solo play shouldn't be a formal affair. On the contrary, it should be experimental so you can discover how to play with yourself and learn which masturbation techniques help to maximize your pleasure.
IS MASTURBATION HEALTHY?
Masturbating releases oxytocin, which helps to reduce cortisol, the stress hormone. In other words, masturbation can be a form of stress relief for men, women, and people of all genders. Recent studies have also shown that masturbating can help you fall asleep faster and improve sleep quality.
Those are but a few of the health benefits that come with masturbating. Research suggests that people with a penis have a higher white blood cell count (which is pivotal in the immune response) after reaching orgasm from masturbation compared to before they masturbated. Hormones released during masturbation may also provide pain relief which might explain why you find yourself wanting to masturbate to get over a hangover!
CAN YOU MASTURBATE TOO MUCH?
No, there's no such thing as masturbating too much. Some people masturbate once or twice a week, others do it every day. Your penis or clitoris may feel irritated if you dry masturbate multiple times a day. However, masturbating a lot will not “hurt” you or put you at risk of a UTI if you practice general hygiene.
You might consider masturbating more. A 2016 study suggested that men who ejaculated at least 21 times per month were significantly less likely to develop prostate cancer than those who ejaculated four to seven times per month. Plus, frequent masturbation can strengthen the pelvic floor and help lessen the chances of erectile dysfunction.
So don’t be ashamed to jerk off! You can masturbate as much as you’d like as long as it's not getting in the way of the other things you need to do. Also, listen to your body. If your penis or clitoris is irritated, maybe take a break, or change masturbating techniques for a few days.
HOW TO MASTURBATE: GENERAL TIPS FOR JERKING OFF
The only way to know what you like best is to keep trying new masturbation techniques. We'll get into techniques for playing with penises, vulvas/clitorises, and anuses in a minute, but here are some tips that can help people of any gender get the most out of self-love sessions:
Set the scene and take your time: A quick orgasm right before you hop in the shower or drift off to sleep is great, but if you want to up your self-love sessions consider setting aside a little more time and creating a sexy atmosphere for yourself. The most important thing is that you have private space where you won't be interrupted, but you can spice it up by dimming the lights, adding some music, or lighting a candle. Think of what you do to help set the mood when you're with a partner, and then do it for yourself (you're your own best partner tonight). And don't be in too much of a rush to get to the orgasm-getting there is at least half of the fun.
Have fun with fantasy: For extended solo-pleasure experiences, you might have to get yourself in the mood. Porn videos are always available on our computers or mobile devices (remember to use private mode if you don't want anyone to see your browser history) and there are endless genres to choose from. However, porn doesn't always leave a lot to the imagination and fantasy can be part of the fun. Consider reading erotic stories, looking at still pictures, or remembering particularly good sex from your past and letting your imagination fill in the blanks or change some of the steamy details.
Go beyond genitals: Think about how and where partners have touched you. What makes you tingle? Maybe it's tickling the skin right inside your thigh, pinching your nipples just a little hard, gently squeezing your whole breast, or cupping your testicles with your palm. Lots of people like it when the perineum – the part of your body, sometimes called the taint, that connects your genitals to your anus – gets in on the action. Just as there are different masturbating techniques, there are also different ways to touch yourself.
Let loose the lube: Rubbing a dry penis or clitoris for too long can result in irritation. Getting everything just a little wet can help make masturbation feel better. You may be best off finding a high-quality lube created just for sex, like Trojan™ Infinite Glide. Also know, if you're using silicone sex toys, you should stay away from silicone-based lube, which can break down the toys. Oil- or water-based lubes like H₂0 Closer should be fine.
SOLO MASTURBATION TIPS FOR MEN & PEOPLE WITH PENISES
Solo-male masturbation isn’t rocket science. But if you're still doing it the same way you taught yourself in middle school, maybe it's time to switch it up. If you have a penis, there are different ways to masturbate for greater satisfaction. Here are some ideas for how to jerk off:
Get a grip (and then change it): Much of male masturbation involves wrapping your hand around the shaft of the penis and rubbing it up and down. You can glide your hand over the skin or hold on a little tighter and move the skin up and down. Even with this basic method, you don't have to do it the same way every time. Try a new grip, use the other hand, or use both hands. You can leave one at the bottom with a kind of tight grip and move the other up and down. If you have a larger size, you may even use both hands to stroke up and down.
Mix up the pace: Rubbing out a quick one can feel nice, and sometimes even necessary! But you might also want to take your time when you’re first learning how to masturbate or trying to improve your orgasms. Start slow before gradually building up the pace of your movements. You can also interchangeably go slower and faster until the point of climax.
Tease the tip... and the scrotum: Don't forget about the of tip the penis, also known as the glans. There are a lot of nerve endings there and rubbing it can feel great. Techniques up here may differ depending on whether you've been circumcised. Uncircumcised people may want to play with their foreskin by pulling it down gently to expose the glans. Just don't yank too quickly as the foreskin is very delicate. You might also fondle your scrotum (balls) while you masturbate. Stimulating the scrotum is a masturbating technique that can provide more pleasure. Some people prefer cupping the balls before the climax, while others might even grip the balls at the point of orgasm.
Pick a pose (and then change it): While you're changing your grip, consider also changing positions. Try sitting or standing or lying face down on your bed and letting your hips do the work when you are stroking or using a masturbation sleeve. Standing and jerking off in front of the mirror may provide added satisfaction if you are sexting with your partner and want to give them a better view—just make sure all parties consent!
Test out toys. Vibrators aren't just for vulvas and there are a whole bunch of other sex toys designed with penises and solo masturbation for men in mind. You might like a vibrating ring that goes over the penis and can stay in place anywhere along the penis as you touch yourself. Or try a masturbation sleeve. Add some lube and slide these toys up and down your shaft or roll over and push yourself in and out of it.
SOLO MASTURBATION TIPS FOR WOMEN & PEOPLE WITH A VULVA AND CLITORIS
People with a vulva and clitoris can and do want sex just as much as those who have a penis and should be able to enjoy self-pleasure as often as they'd like. There's no one way to masturbate as every vulva and clitoris is just a little bit different, but here are some tips for self-pleasure:
Connect with the clitoris (and beyond): Most female masturbation is about the clitoris because this magical body part has so many nerve endings and no purpose other than providing pleasure. Start by playing with your clitoral hood (the flap of skin that covers and protects the clitoris) and then, if you want more intensity, touch, or squeeze the clitoris itself. Of course, there's more to your genitals than just the clit, try rubbing the whole vulva (which also includes the inner and outer lips and the opening to the vagina) and then rub around the opening to your vagina or stick a finger inside.
Rub right and left, and around in a circle: There is no right way to rub a clitoris or vulva-you may go up and down or round and round or you may find it most pleasurable to hold your clitoris or clitoral hood between your thumb and forefinger and rub it that way. Vary the direction, the speed, and the pressure of your touch. It is all a matter of personal preference when you’re trying to find out how best to masturbate, and there is no way to know those preferences except to practice, practice, practice.
Test out toys: Some of the most basic sex toy options include wands meant for stimulating the entire vulva, dildos or penis-shaped vibrators meant for going inside the vagina, and clit suckers that use air to mimic the sensation of oral sex. But there are also internal vibrators that are bent to help find the g-spot, as well as so-called rabbit vibes that have one part for going in the vagina and a second that stays outside to pleasure the clitoris. Add one or more toys to spice up your masturbation repertoire.
NEW MASTURBATION TECHNIQUES FOR YOU TO TRY
We’ve talked about how to masturbate in a more classic sense. But you don’t always need to resort to simply stroking the snake or flicking the bean when jerking off. Try some of these masturbation techniques to spice things up and see what works best for you:
Hands-free: You don’t even need your hands to masturbate. Some vibrating sex toys may allow you to control stimulation around your genital area. You might simulate doggy-style sex by riding a dildo. It’s possible you might not even need a toy. People with a penis may try visualizing or watching erotic content while flexing the pubococcygeus (PC) muscles or touching stimulating fabrics. People with a vulva might grab a faucet or shower head—yes, the shower can be an ideal setting for solo and partner play—and let the water pressure stimulate the clitoris. Grinding or dry-humping a pillow can also do the trick!
Edging: This is often thought of as a solo male masturbation technique you might use to help increase sexual stamina and build to a massive climax. But really, women and people of all genders can practice edging! This start-stop masturbation technique involves playing around with different speeds right until the point of ejaculation, then stopping and taking a break before ramping things back up. Edging is a process meant to be repeated and may be ideal when you have a lengthy amount of alone time so you can experience a bigger orgasm.
Hot and cold: Different bodies may respond differently to certain temperature fluctuations. Indeed, temperature play is another masturbation technique that can help you discover what you prefer. This might entail rubbing ice on your body. Some lubes, like Trojan™ Arouses & Releases™, also provide sensations of warming, cooling, or tingling to help stimulate.
WHAT IS ANAL MASTURBATION?
Anal masturbation involves playing with your anus and the area around it for sexual stimulation. People of any gender can do it. You can touch the area around your anus, rub the anus itself, or stick a finger all the way or partially in.
When playing with your butt there are two things to remember. Always use lube because the skin on the anus is delicate and this body part doesn't produce any lubrication of its own. There are also tons of sex toys designed for butt play. Always choose a sex toy with a wider base that stays outside as things can accidentally get pulled into the rectum.
People who enjoy anal play may want to use a finger or a sex toy to find some extra-sensitive places. The g-spot in women and the p-spot in men are internal structures that can be stimulated through the anus.
EXPLORE WAYS TO PLEASURE YOURSELF THEN SHARE WITH YOUR PARTNER
Everybody is different, and every body is different. The only way you know what makes you shudder and shake is to experiment. You can do some of this with partners, but doing it on your own and then telling (or showing) your partners what you like can be even sexier and mean double (or triple) the fun and orgasms for everyone.
