Sex Tips
How to Experience the Ride of Your Life with Partner on Top Sex Positions
Experimenting is essential when it comes to nurturing your sex life and discovering your preferences in the bedroom – that notion rings especially true when it comes to sex positions. For example, if you and your partner seem to fall back on a consistent cycle of missionary and doggy style sex, you might be looking to change things up. Partner on top sex positions can amp up the fun and address specific wants and needs.
You might have at least heard of cowgirl and reverse cowgirl sex positions. But partner on top can extend to oral sex – and some positions can allow you and your partner to test your flexibility and athleticism. We’re going to give you some tips for partner on top sex so you can unleash your inner bucking bronco and bring some variety to your sex life.
What Are Partner on Top Sex Positions?
Partner on top positions are penetrative sex positions where the receiving partner is on top and controls most of the motion and rhythm. Penetration can be vaginal or anal and can include the penis, fingers, vibrators, and other sex toys.
Historically speaking, some of the more popular terms for partner on top positions, like woman on top positions and cowgirl, were coined solely with heterosexual couples in mind. Today we know there's an entire range of relationships and options to consider. These positions can be easily mastered and provide several benefits – especially when you know how to work in sex toys to help complement the penetration.
Benefits of Being on Top
If you're hoping to boost your love life, partner on top sex positions could be the answer for many reasons:
The sheer thrill of it! Being on top of the action can feel exhilarating and liberating.
Easy access to the spotlight: Being on top allows you to rub and grind against your partner's penis or strap-on to your heart's content (as long as it's comfortable for them). Rubbing and grinding may also allow more targeted access to the clitoris for enhanced pleasure. The top position also brings your sexy bits front and center to be caressed, stroked, tweaked, squeezed - you get the picture.
Setting the pace: From the top spot, you can control rhythm, speed, and depth of penetration making orgasm more likely. As we’ll talk about, though, some partner on top sex positions still allow the penetrating partner the opportunity to do the work – if that’s what you both enjoy.
Taking the pressure off: If one partner is petite, being on top may be more comfortable for them. It can also offer a break in the action for the penetrating partner if they’ve been putting in a lot of work, which may be the case in positions like doggy style or missionary sex.
When a little extra care is needed: During advanced stages of pregnancy, a woman may find it more comfortable to be on top. This can also be true during postpartum sex – make sure to use a condom for protection. You might consider using Trojan™ Ultra Thin + Spermicide Condoms, a thin condom with Nonoxynol-9 spermicide to help provide extra protection against pregnancy.
There are several partner on top positions and variations. With the knowledge of a few basics, you and your partner can add your creative twists and make them your own.
Classic Partner on Top Sex Positions
Are you a newbie to partner on top sex positions? Then let’s start with some of the basics. When it comes to partner on top sex, no two positions are as classic as cowgirl and reverse cowgirl, though they both come with their own spins and variations.
What is Cowgirl Position?
Cowgirl sex position involves the penetrating partner either sitting or lying flat on their back while the receiving partner gets on top – facing torso to torso – and straddles the penetrating partner.
The receiving partner in cowgirl position may be in a kneeling position or mounted (in a squat). Or, if the penetrating partner is seated in a chair or on a surface, the receiving partner might be able to straddle with their feet on the floor. As we’ll discuss, there are several different ways to get busy in cowgirl position.
How to Do Cowgirl
If your partner is lying on their back, straddle them with your knees and shins pressed to the bed. Similar to sitting on a horse (hence the name) lean into a comfortable position and find your rhythm. Tip: Your partner can bend and draw their knees upward to help support you while you're on top. You can also posture up or put your hands on their chest while you ride or grind. If you’re straddling on a chair or a surface, make sure you’re comfortable and in a position where you can maintain your balance.
Speaking of grinding, that’s always a great idea when you’re in cowgirl position. And in cowgirl, the receiving partner can grind either their clitoris or anus against the pubic bone for added stimulation to complement penetration. You can go as fast or as slow as you want – just be sure to take it all in so you can try to find your g-spot while also stimulating the clitoris. And consider experimenting by widening your knees or bringing them closer to the body to see what feels best.
Of course, you might choose to bounce up and down on your penetrating partner’s penis or strap-on – maybe even twerk on it if you’re able. Riding in the cowgirl position is a way to flaunt your ass-ets, so to speak – you might find it sexy for your partner to give you a spank while you ride.
Keep things intimate with steady eye contact in cowgirl position. Receivers might play with their partner’s hair or kiss their neck, while penetrating partners might grab the rider’s breasts or play with their nipples. Whether you’re having cowgirl sex on the bed, the couch, or even the floor, make sure you’re both stable and work on changing up the rhythm now and then.
What is Reverse Cowgirl Position?
Reverse cowgirl is like the cowgirl sex position, only you flip directions – and there are some other small nuances. Like the cowgirl position, you want to straddle your partner but face their feet instead of their torso.
How to Do Reverse Cowgirl
There are multiple ways to experiment with the reverse cowgirl position. You might lean forward toward your partner’s feet and grind or shake your butt on their penis or strap on – that could make for quite the view! You could also crouch on your hind legs and bounce up and down, perhaps flexing your back and shoulder muscles in the process. Another variation is when the receiving partner places their hands on the penetrating partner’s chest – the bed or another surface for stability – and slides up and down on the penetrating partner with a slight backward tilt.
There are a couple of reasons why you might choose to lean back and use your partner’s chest for support. For starters, the backwards tilt may change the angle of penetration so that you feel more clitoral contact or different strokes that hit the G-spot. Additionally, by leaning back, you may give your partner the chance to rub on your clitoris with their fingers or a vibrator while you ride them, if you desire.
If you’re especially adventurous and flexible, you can attempt the full nelson variation of the reverse cowgirl position – where the receiving partner wraps their legs all the way around their head and allows the penetrating partner to take control. You may just want to develop a safe word or communicate with your partner if it feels too difficult or uncomfortable when you try this reverse cowgirl variation.
Whereas the cowgirl position may feel better for receivers if their penetrating partner has an upward curving penis, reverse cowgirl might be the preference if the penetrating partner’s penis curves downward. No matter which classic partner on top sex position you choose – try the different variations so you can discover what feels good or if certain variations make the sex more exciting or bold.
Mastering Partner on Top Positions
These tips can help you navigate the limelight of being on top. But with great power comes great responsibility. So, use them well:
Lube Up: Use personal lubricant liberally and reapply as often as needed. Lube can help reduce friction and make penetration feel more pleasurable. Make sure the lube is compatible with any condoms you may be using. It should also be compatible with sex toys. If you’re using lube with sex toys, water-based lubes – like Trojan™ H20 Closer– are compatible with sex toys. Always check the material of your sex toys to verify its compatibility with the lube you are using if you add some buzz to partner play.
Tantalizing Toy Play: Adding in sex toys during the experience can help promote different stimulations and may make orgasm more likely. If you’re in cowgirl position, you might try an egg vibrator or a 2-in-1 vibrating cock ring like the Trojan™ Dual Pleasure Vibrating Ring, featuring a shape that can pleasure both partners simultaneously. For reverse cowgirl, you might wear a butt plug to give your partner something shiny to look at, or go with an external vibrator like the Trojan™ Divine Contoured Vibrator.
Be Confident: Being on top can be intimidating. But rest assured, your partner is so busy being turned on, that they can only think about how sexy you look. So, accentuate your curves when you have the opportunity!
Lean In: It doesn't have to be lonely at the top. Lean in now and then for kisses and caresses with your partner, or whisper sweet nothings in their ear. If you’re in reverse cowgirl position, you can lean back and – if you can manage – touch your partner’s face or instill some more passion with some sensual eye contact.
Easy Does It: Start slowly and remember that maximum speed and height are not the goals here. Bending one the wrong way can quickly kill the mood. Try gyrating your hips in different patterns and see what you and your partner respond to best. This can also help loosen things up before you try bouncing on an erect penis or strap-on.
Create Stability: Don't be afraid to use furniture or pillows as props. Placing a pillow under your partner's hips can help create a comfortable angle and ease the strain on both your backs. Maybe the penetrating partner seats themselves near the edge of the bed or counter in a fashion that allows the receiving partner to stand and experience a different angle while riding. Alternatively, holding onto the headboard or placing your hands on your partner's chest or shoulders can help you stay mounted for a more confident ride.
Enjoy the Perks: Being on top puts you in control. Take the lead and show your partner exactly what you like and how you like it - speed, rhythm depth, type of contact - all of it. If you're not sure what you like, use this time to find out.
Enlist Your Supportive Partner: Being on top takes effort and can be tiring, especially If you're not used to it. Remember that being on top allows the penetrating partner to take a breather. So, if you get tired when you’re on top, switch it up again, and get your partner to take over some of the activity.
More Partner on Top Sex Positions to Try
Want to go beyond just the standard variations of cowgirl and reverse cowgirl? You can! Try some of the following partner on top sex positions:
69: Partner on top isn’t just reserved for vaginal or anal intercourse! This oral sex position involves one partner sitting on the other partner’s face while giving the seated partner head – it’s a great way to discover mutual pleasure and sheer bliss.
Lotus: This will bring you especially close to your partner. In this version of cowgirl, the penetrating partner sits with their legs crossed while the receiving wraps their legs around the derrière. It’s an especially intimate position that works well when you want more lip-locking time with your partner. Lotus might also be a good option if you and your partner both have vulvas and are looking for a good scissoring position.
Amazon: The Amazon position is another variation of the cowgirl position where, instead of laying their legs flat, the penetrating partner elevates their hips and brings their knees to their chest. The receiving partner then straddles either kneeling or squatting, resting their butt on the back of the penetrating partner’s thighs or butt.
Side Saddle: You can perform Side Saddle as a variation of either the cowgirl or reverse cowgirl positions. Essentially, the receiving partner can either sit on the erect penis or strap-on facing the side, or facing the penetrating partner’s feet with the knees beneath and resting the hands on the penetrating partner’s thighs.
When trying anything new, execution may not be flawless and it may take a few tries to hit that stride. Just remember, it's all about pleasure. And if you fall off the horse, just get back up and ride, baby, ride!
