SEX TIPS

Am I Kinky Enough? Kinky Sex Positions & Ideas to Avoid a Vanilla Bedroom Experience

Sex should be about intimacy and pleasure. However, there may come a time when your usual sexual encounters don't provide the same level of satisfaction they once did. Or perhaps you’ve found yourself fantasizing about new sex ideas or techniques – you’re not alone! Many people also tend to think about sex as an explorative exercise. That might include how to be kinkier.

We are going to talk about what it means to be kinky or have kinky sex. We’ll also give you some kinky ideas for partner and solo play so you can keep things spicy and avoid feeling like your sex life has become monotonous or vanilla.

What Does Kinky Mean?

According to Merriam-Webster, the word kinky is defined as “relating to, having, or appealing to unconventional tastes” in a sexual context. But what is considered “unconventional” or “kinky”? Well, that sort of depends.

Kinky sex may provoke different images for different people. For example, you might have a visceral reaction to the idea of BDSM and being tied up. Conversely, that last sentence might make others feel a little damp or tingly in excitement. Some people might consider oral sex and intercourse to be mostly conventional—but there are certainly ways to make these things kinkier (more on this later). So, what is kinky? Realistically, it’s anything that deviates from your typical sexual habits or expectations!

While different people have different levels of kinkiness, the truth is that most people want to try new things on a sexual level. A 2022 Hims & Hers study of 7,234 people found that while 22% of Americans say having more sex would help improve their sex lives, a whopping 72% believe that having different sex was more important in that regard. Some of the trends respondents mentioned included things like voyeurism and polyamory, among others. In essence, people often want to mix things up and partake in kinkier activities—whatever that might mean for a given individual.

Kink vs. Fetish: Is There a Difference?

We just talked about how being kinky or having a kink relates more to sexual preferences and behaviors and trying things outside of “normal” expectations. A fetish is typically used to describe a stronger and more specific fixation.

For example, roleplay may be a common kink. But roleplay can also take shape in a variety of ways—student and teacher, stranger roleplay, handyman and housewife… you get the idea. Some roleplay ideas might appeal more than others. Moreover, bondage might be a kink that gets the juices flowing in the bedroom, but it may not be a “necessity” in getting you off.

Alternatively, you might find that some people have a foot fetish. That means they are almost unequivocally attracted to feet regardless of the context and may ultimately be hyper-fixated on feet in order to orgasm. That might not be the case for people who have certain kinks. In many cases, voyeurism may also be a fetish in that you’re becoming aroused from watching other people—this may include your partner—engage in sexual activity. People into voyeurism might experience a stronger orgasm from a voyeur experience than in other sexual situations.

No Kink Shaming Allowed!

Kink shaming is essentially a condemnation of a kink (or fetish) intended to make people with those preferences feel less than or problematic. It's important to respect everyone’s sexual preferences and refrain from kink shaming. You might not feel compelled or get the same enjoyment from certain sexual situations or fetishes as others, but you also shouldn’t judge others for their kinks.

Remember, sex is about finding out more about your likes and dislikes so you can maximize your sexual encounters. If you and your partner are thinking about how to have kinky sex, make sure you communicate about new things you want to try. It’s also important to assess comfort levels and set boundaries so all parties have a clear understanding of what kinky sex might entail.

Kinky Ideas for Solo Play

You don’t necessarily need to have a sexual partner to be kinky. Here are some kinky solo play ideas for you to try if you’re tired of just flicking the bean or jerking on your bed over and over:

Good vibrations: Adding a sex toy to the mix might make your alone time a little bit more enjoyable. Trojan™ offers wand vibrators for powerful vibrations and a contoured vibrator with ridges that aid in both external and internal stimulation. The Trojan™ Dual Pleasure Vibrating Wand and Trojan™ Tandem Ring both feature rings for people with a penis. Know how to choose the right vibrator for you so you can keep the good times… ahem… coming.

Pillow? Washing machine? If you don’t own a sex toy, try using another object to get off! This could mean humping a pillow or sitting on top of a washing machine to let those vibrations take you away.

Try a blindfold: Sensory play is an excellent foreplay technique for sexually active couples. But it can also prove satisfying when masturbating by yourself. Try removing sight from the occasion by using a blindfold to cut out other visual distractions—this could really allow your imagination to run wild!

Experiment with temperature changes: Adding some extra chills or heat to the equation can enliven solo play and set a different tone for your solo session. Rubbing ice cubes on your nipples while you masturbate? Sure. Trying a low-temperature candle wax drip could satisfy certain urges, too—just make sure it has cooled sufficiently so as not to burn yourself. Finally, some lubes are formulated to provide heating or cooling sensations with use, so you can add a little lube to the mix when you’re touching down there and everywhere.

Feeling a little underwhelmed or un-sexy with your solo play as of late? Not sure how to be kinky when you’re on your own? Test out some (or all!) of the above ideas and learn how to masturbate better so you can make each climax count.

Kinky Sex Tips for Couples

So, you and your partner are eager to rev things up in the bedroom, eh? As we’ve discussed, kinky sex is likely going to look different for every couple. Talk things over with your partner to establish boundaries, then see if any of these tips could fit the bill!

Put on the kinky lingerie: It might sound simple, but wearing some sexy lingerie can really get your partner amped up in a hurry. Have you been hesitant to wear that G-string or (if you have a penis) show off your package with thong underwear? Do you have anything laced or threaded, or haven’t worn the garter or suspender belt in the closet? Wear these items with confidence and watch your partner drool all over themselves in anticipation.

Talk dirty: Again, this may sound simple. But dirty talk can get spicy, too. From a kink perspective, you could get more explicit than usual or do more whispering. Maybe you’ve never been confident in your dirty talk before but want an excuse to try! No matter the case, dirty talk can certainly contribute to kinky sex.

Get tied up: You may find it sexy to sit back and strap in while your partner does all the work. They might like it, too! Bondage can come in various forms and fashions. Maybe a single arm is tied to the edge of the bed. Or maybe all your appendages are tied down. Handcuffs are another option and an easy one if you’re also doing a cop-criminal foreplay routine! Be sure to communicate with your partner about a safe word in case you need a break from bondage.

Nibble, spank, and pull: You might consider nibbling your partner’s nipples or licking around their neck during foreplay or when you’re on top. A good spank before and during intercourse might turn your partner on, as could pulling their hair when they’re giving you oral sex or if you’re penetrating them in the doggy style position. Some people might like being paddled. Just make sure, for all these scenarios, to have a safe word you can use if the nibbling, spanking or pulling becomes a little excessive.

Take it outside the bedroom: Sex shouldn’t be confined within the four walls of a bedroom. For example, you could take it to the shower and get wet all over. The moment could strike when you’re watching a movie (make it a porno if you really want to get kinky) on the couch. You could greet your partner at the front door wearing some of that kinky lingerie we mentioned before pouncing on them in the hallway. Or, maybe you and your partner have always been interested in getting entwined while in the great outdoors. The opportunities are endless.

Kinky sex positions: Want some wilder sex positions that might test your flexibility and athleticism? Ever heard of the Wheelbarrow or Helicopter? We all love missionary and doggy style sex, but sometimes you have to try something you’ve never done before. If you and your partner can pull it off, that might be the “Full Nelson” variation of reverse cowgirl. Or maybe you put a spin on doggy and missionary by going Pretzel style. Regardless, there are numerous different positions—including standing sex positions to try to expand your horizons. Time to go get a copy of the Kama Sutra! Lastly, if you haven’t tried anal sex, rimming, or other activities related to butt play, now might be the time to have that conversation with your partner.

Threesome? Foursome? Moresome? Are you involved in a non-monogamous relationship or have you talked with your partner about including other sexual partners? Threesomes or foursomes may prove ideal for people who enjoy watching their partner engage in sexual activity with another person. If you’ve experienced sexual tension with another couple and have fantasized about sharing or a swap, that could be something you investigate. You could also expand and look into sex parties. Just be sure that all involved partners are willing consenting partners. And be sure to wear a condom to help prevent pregnancies and sexually transmitted infections (STIs).

Have we given you enough to get started? Well, this is just the tip of the… iceberg. Take a look at the Trojan™ sex bucket list for an even broader range of kinky sex activities—from sexy locations to playtime activities and more!

Unleash Your Kinky Side with Trojan™ Sex Toys, Lubes, and More!

Now that you’ve discovered more about kinkiness, see how Trojan™ can help you have kinkier sex! From sex toys to lubes and condoms for protection, Trojan™ has the products to help you unlock your wilder impulses.